Connecting II

When you are helping your child through an intense emotional time - it can be a cry or a tantrum, but also a loud laugh, a screaming session, an exciting singing - practice not to, not even for a second, care about what others around you might be feeling, thinking, or looking at. 

Focus on what is happening, and eventually, if that is the case, in what you would like to change (or needs to be changed). The sooner you disconnect from "others" expectations the deeper you will connect to your child's needs, and the quicker you will find balance in what you are experiencing right now.

Only this, can instantly, change your days.

Try it. With practice you will certainly master it.

#ommmmmmammaMotheringSeries

#ommmmmmamma

 Grateful for the foto: Sofia Mota

Gratefulness

Today Be Grateful for the child you have.

Only this, accepting all he or she are made of. This, in itself, can instantly perform miracles in the way you relate and how deep you connect.

Be

Grateful. 

#ommmmmmamma

#ommmmmmammaMotheringSeries

Laughter

Laughter drives shouting away. 

~ Indra Devi

Today only this for #ommmmmmamma #tumtumDays

#ommmmmmammaMotheringSeries

Words

Today remember how sacred are your words.

Every time you speak to your child, doesn't matter how old he or she is, think about how this will impact their emotions, their inner voice, their lives...

Remember your voice is the background sound of the days they live, your words are the playlist - what they listen to, over and over again...

And remember to choose.

Every Time you say "no reason to cry"; "stop screaming"; "don't say that..." stop and think: what wisdom is it that you are passing on...?

So many of us have been taught like this, to repress how we feel and hide what we wish to say, but times have changed and a #ommmmmmamma way of life is here.

What to do instead? 

Hold space.

Only that.

Hold space for your toddler's tantrums; your baby's separation anxieties; your child's first fears...

Let them express themselves, and just listen, acknowledge how they feel, and allow them, like this, to process and heal.

#ommmmmmammaMotheringSeries

(This text was first written by Ommmmmmamma for #theGratefulGoddess / #sacredBeginnings)

Nature III

Today let yourself be surrounded by Nature. Let it's roots ground you... it's winds help you to let go... it's waters heal you... it's fire transform you...

Today be with Mother Nature. 

Why? Cause mothers stick together. We are stronger like this.

Mothers gathering together with #ommmmmmamma #ommmmmmammaMotheringSeries 

Toddler days

Very often, after a session of running around in circles, occasional creaming, changing his mind every minute, asking for lap lap lap (and more lap!)...

... some trowing of toys and a final tantrum explosion #tumtum comes to my breast and just...

Falls 

Asleep 

Yes, most of toddler's "misbehaving" is actually spelled: t.i.r.e.d.n.e.s.s.

Here we go (I also need a nap!)

#ommmmmmamma

#ommmmmmammaMotheringSeries

Spiritual practice

When we go to temples in Hong Kong my son asks for the money to put in the donations box and immediately looks for the incense sticks to burn. In India he loves to apply tikka (the sacred powder or ashes you get from the poojas) in my third eye. And in Portugal he has spontaneously kneeled at Fatima sanctuary. It is not a surprise, children are more connected to source and more attuned with a... sacred way to see things. 

I never sat to tell my son about any Gods or Spirits. I never taught him how to worship (and believe it requires no teaching at all), but I just allowed him to... Follow what speaks to him. Sometimes he joins me singing Om in my meditations. Most times he does caress the trees and salutes the animals. He is often curious and asks about the little temples or altars we find in our walks and other times he... does it his way.

What about you? What spiritual practices your child loves? Which ones you share with them? And what magic you create together...?

#ommmmmmamma

#ommmmmmammaMotheringSeries

Focus

Today focus on what is important to you.

I find this a great technique, when everything seams to fall apart, many sleepless nights (is it teething?) and tantrum filled days... I give myself some moments in the beginning of my day to set my intention and decide: "What am I going to FOCUS on today?'" and I even have this line written in my bathroom tiles, just above the shower head! It helps me to remember ;-)

What about you? What techniques do you use to guide your day?

#ommmmmmamma

#ommmmmmammaMotheringSeries

Honor nap times

Honor nap times

Like crazy! 

Honor this like crazy.

It happens often that a huge frustration meltdown bursts just when I want to "do something"; "go somewhere"; "get something done"... Does it happen to you?  And have you asked yourself why? 

We get so busy with this need of "achieving" that we don't see the ones around us.

I forget to answer to my sons needs, I ignore his signs and postpone listening to him... 

And very simply - this can't be done. 

For me most of the "motherhood frustration" comes from this illusion that "after I get this done I will solve that". 

It does not work. 

And before you jump saying that "children are little dictators" and just "can't have it their way all the time", think, why is it that he or she might be so intransigent with his needs...?

Your child knows very little about what "self-restraint" is. To control a thought, a desire, a word... He doesn't know how to do it, and more than this - they do not understand WHY should they do such thing! Cause if you need something, please speak up, right? 

Right... Haven't you been yourself re-learning this...?

So listen to your master, look at him, connect, accept the limitations this little body has... Listen to his needs for cuddles, for food, for... Rest.

Honor time for rest.

Because with me, every time everything seams to fall apart, just a few seconds after, when I accept to have him with me, when I give in to doing what I know works best - connect - I just look at him and see a Tired being, that grabs my breast to just...

Fall

Asleep 

In a matter of seconds, it all makes sense again. Off we go - I need a nap myself.

#ommmmmmamma

#ommmmmmammaMotheringSeries

Self-care

Did you also...? Learned about self care, or new ways for self care, only since you became a mother?

For me it happen like this. Before I was a mother I would regularly, and simply,

take. care. of myself. 

It was not a ritual, it was not even a routine, it was just... my "normal" me. 

Everyday I would take my time under a long shower; save some space for a daily gentle yoga stretch; choose to spend uplifting time out with friends; would regularly walk in nature, or just take the long way home enjoying the waterfront view and the taste of the salty air in my mouth... I would join yoga classes and group meditation sessions often to boost my personal practice; and I would feed my soul with good music concerts or just a good book by the pool. 

Before I became a mother I would journal by the moon... and I used to publish my writing; teach acting; perform on stage and... Just travel a lot. All my passions, would be part of each one of my days.

It all changed. 

Huge changes taught me how precious was this "normal me" time. How wise was my dedication to live for pleasure and to celebrate my passions. 

Huge changes brought huge teachings... 

Since I have become a mother I have learned how self care can happen out of the yoga mat; outside of the massage room; away from the ocean (or even away from a quick shower for a couple of days!)...

As mothers it is so important to realize how much self care is needed, yes (more than ever!), but it is crucial to accept it might have changed shape and form...

I do encourage you (and myself!) to take time to go for that massage, that swim at sunrise, that walk by the moonlight (if you can!) but also, to change your perspective... You see...

Since I become a mother I love myself more, and as I appreciate the sacredness of this new path, accepting it's challenges... I find myself stretching further, deeper... But a new kind of stretch, a stretch for the mind... To meet parts of my being I didn't know existed (or could be this flexible!).

Self-care is a choice, a focus, a mindful way of being.

And now, sometimes, self-care happens inside my head, while I nurse my baby, or carry him on my lap, and I close my eyes...

Breathing in

Deeply

The current blessings of my life.

Self care now happens when I choose to tune in inside of me. 

And I have been wondering: did it ever really happen elsewhere?

Enjoy, your #motherhoodAwakenings

#ommmmmmammaMotheringSeries

(This text was first written by #ommmmmmamma for #theGratefulGoddess / #sacredbeginnings)

Connect

Today CONNECT with your child.

You might feel you are connected all the time, specially if you are a #newmum, so busy (sometimes lost) with all your newborn needs; or a full time mother, with the non ending tasks of a toddler's routine... 

But I am not talking of the connection of preparing food and trying to feed your child, or bathing, dressing him, taking him out for playtime... I am talking of a deeper... a... Mindful connection. A connection that wants to change nothing and is not rushing for any specific outcome. A connection that just... Accepts what IS. And embraces it. Reaches out to feel it all, right now, even if the present moment is unpleasant. 

Connect with your child, with no request for adjustments or alterations. 

Hug your son or stare for a few minutes at your daughter's eyes. Dance with your baby or do yoga with your little one. Or just sit, and listen to it all. Today connect. And just keep in mind it requires acceptance... no judgment... dropping of all expectations.

#ommmmmmamma

#motherAndLittleOneYoga

#yoga

#hkYoga

#yogaLove

#ommmmmmammaYogaSeries

#ommmmmmammaMotheringSeries

Safe place

And if it happens to you that your child "is fine" with someone else, and as soon as you come near jumps on your lap crying and complaining about everything... If it feels like with you "she doesn't listen", "he doesn't behave"... remember... you are your children's safe place, the comfort zone, the sacred being in their lives with whom they can really be themselves, let all emotions flow, totally relax into coddles and sleep or cry over frustrations and fears. 

We all need a place like this in our lives... And isn't it an honor to be chosen to give this kind of nourishment and... Love to someone? Isn't it incredible how mother's lap always seams to make things better?

For me this is one of the many faces of the unconditional Love we all talk about: to be able to offer a hug during a tantrum holding no judgments about what is going on inside of their little bodies.

We all need a place like this in our lives... Where we can relax into Being. Nothing else.

For this, babies need their mothers... And mothers need... Yoga?

#afterYogaSessionInspiration

Bring Yoga to your daily life, mamma with #ommmmmmamma

Acceptance

Without resistance there is no suffering.

Today take all your child's needs as INVITATIONS.

Trust your baby, he is nothing but a MIRROR of how you are inside... 

Take his demanding for attention as... an invitation. Truly accept that your child has a plan, a plan he made for the two of you, with LOVE.

Accept his appetite or his tiredness, his singing or his whining all as... an activity he invites you to. 

Do not resist, just for today... 

I wrote before how your are your child's HEALER right? Today it's time to accept he might also be here to heal you... Listen to all his unspoken words, for it is all, truly, SACRED.

This was written by #ommmmmmamma for #sacredBeginnings / #theGratefulGoddess

#motherAndLittleOneYoga

#ommmmmmammaMotheringSeries

Your child's healer

Healing 

More than a parent, have you thought of yourself as your child's healer?

Your hands have reiki when you touch your son;

Your words are mantras when you speak to your daughter (and remember that your words will stay inside, like an inner voice... Choose wisely);

Your cooking is their medicine;

Your milk, your kisses, your cuddling is his meditation, his safe place...

Since my son was born I feel that I am here, and he choose me, to heal. To heal him, and to heal myself.

Since the first nights he was waking up with colic, or days unsettled by the loud noises, the bright lights, the crowds.. I felt I am here to soothe him, to help him trough this transition... To gently guide him. 

Do you manage, in the middle of a teething crises night, to give a heartfelt kiss in your child's head? You are a healer.

Do you often, during a drama filled bath time, throw a few drops of lavender EO (to induce relaxation) or a pinch of salt (to neutralize energy) into the water? You are a healer.

Do you think of squeezing breast milk or rub coconut oil on everything, before you consider it a medical issue? Your a healer.

Do you trust gems and stones healing powers and choose amber for your baby's neck? Your a healer.

Do you intuitively massage your baby's feet when he is stressed out or rub his back when he is tired, or gently tap his head when he needs sleep...? You are a healer.

Do you...

Yes, tell me what you do, what are your HEALER talents?

Affirmation for the day: 

"I have inside of me all it takes to heal my child".

(This text was first written by #ommmmmmamma for #sacredBeginnings / #theGratefulGoddess)

Yoga spotted!! See little one in the last image? Badhakonasana, the butterfly pose, love my little yogi! <3

#ommmmmmammaMotheringSeries

Balance II

Since I've become a mother I am afraid of chaos.

Yes, I am literally afraid of what chaos does to my days, how unsettling it is for my heart, how stressful for my nights and how much anxiety it brings to nap times. Unpredictable - is now a scary word.

Since I've become a mother I am a balance junkie. I want balance. All my day, and all my nights I am a balance seeker, and the exercise does not stop, I can't stop thinking of ways to balance up my "now" with my "later". 

I used to be free, I feel, flowing in my messy days, not afraid of a hungover, a small accident, a surprise, an unexpected trip... Could spend a whole month improvising... Happily.

And that is not me anymore. I have changed. 

I am grieving the loss of the woman who could take wine any hour of her day and would, literally, often (!), forget where she was, just because she had so much fun getting there.

Now I seek for balance, not only my own, but the needed balance a little being I call #tumtum (my son) depends on me to achieve.

I am grieving the loss of that woman who used to say "I will sleep when I am really old" just before she went out for a party... With no plan to come back before sunrise.

I have changed. Now I dream of naps... And most times join my baby in his sleep, doesn't matter if it's night or day.

I used to live in a kind of "chaos" that held the taste of a blissful rest.

I am grieving that, I admit.

I am living now a "calm" life... The kind of calmness a prisoner wants to run from.

Some days I am that prisoner. And sharing this sets me free.

Grateful for you, holding space for me. My balance is here.

#ommmmmmamma

#ommmmmmammaJournaling

#writingIsMyGroundingSadhana

#ommmmmmammaMotheringSeries

#theGratefulGoddess

#yogaWithDanielle