Listen to Mother Earth

"Fly with me"

The wind whispers 

"Feel me"

Play the Earth drums

"Let it flow"

Sings the water 

"Transform the fears"

Says the Fire

You are never alone, sister. You belong to Gaia and all her sons and daughters live in you. Are alive in you. Speak trough you.

Let it happen.

Life is not a struggle, but a gift.

And just the same way the clouds get darker and storms take place;

The same way the peaceful ocean transforms into angry waves;

Just like the moon and her phases... You also change. Embrace it.

The Universe told me the other day "this is an adventure, and you are an adventurer", I smiled. You know?, your life is perfect for you - trust it.

Your tears are healing and there is no knot in your hair that is impossible to release.

Release.

Release your fears, rest into Mother Earth's loving arms. Do you feel it? The warmth, the soothing silence... the soft breeze caressing you, the gentle swing of a hammock helping you to sleep? It is real. 

Do not resist. Even that anger you feel inside today, ready to burst; that fear that tightens your heart; that doubt that clouds your eyesight... they will change. They will go. Will leave you... 

You will feel lighter soon. I know you will.

Breathe out... You are Loved.

I Love You Sister.

#ommmmmmamma

Children's day

May I always have the courage to trust you; the humbleness to learn from you; the openness to understand your struggles; the generosity to put you first; the passion to join you in your determination for what you love; the purity to welcome your laughter; the sanity to never say "no" to your hug; the awareness to guide you and never shape you; the integrity to respect who you are in all the screaming and laughter it holds; the discernment to not criticise or praise but just appreciate and acknowledge what you give me; the wisdom to show you magic and join you in other imaginary worlds; the curiosity to always inquire how you feel; the strength to always stand for what I believe in (and this is also a gift to you!); the vision to see who you truly are; the pleasure to walk bare-feet with you and the Love... may my arms be always full of Love, to nurture you, welcome you, love you for who you are, and never for who I wish you would be. I celebrate you, my child! 

Happy children's day! #ommmmmmamma #tumtumLife

Today I will mother myself

Today I came out because at home the drama felt just to heavy, tragic, impossible to shift.

I stepped outside because it is tough to nourish my son when I feel so depleted myself. It is hard to say no to him, but I cannot nurse him now. 

How to be a mother when you are heart broken, feeling sad, wanting to cry alone under the covers?

How to be a mother to others when you need so urgently to mother yourself?

Strange, strange energy in the air.

I am drowning it all in my addictions, coffee, sugar, Internet... swimming. Maybe some yoga later, some meditation escape time (do you know it can be an escape? Yes, you can use it to transcend, and you can use to hide away from the world your body choose this time. A sweet way indeed to numb the lethal affect of a routined sadness).

I know it will all lift soon and I do not write to celebrate my sadness. But I accept the darkness of my cloudy days... Hazy, rainy, teary, struggling days.

"It is all projection", they say. And we do find outside of ourselves nothing but what we hold inside (maybe hidden even from our eyes?).

For this I am grateful, for the world to show me that my inside garden requires gardening, water, love, care.

Today I will take care of myself.

Today I will mother myself, #ommmmmmamma

You have done something great

I don't know why but last night, just before bed, that post-partum feeling came to me. 

That amazing feeling of having done something great. 

The feeling of loving my body so deeply (even the squishy immediate after birth tummy, how I loved that!). 

The feeling of gratitude, of deep love. Of true, pure excitement to meet my son, the one I always knew inside my heart and later inside my body, now trough touch, smell, and long, long deep breaths. 

The feeling of warmth inside my heart and of a delicate time unfolding in front of me.

Motherhood is a complex path, made of many mixed feelings, but I did not lost this one: I have done something great.

This feeling lasted since pregnancy, when labour started, during birth, post-partum, and up until now.

Every mother deserves This!

Remember, you have done something great #ommmmmmamma

Trust your little master

Today I was upset, I was annoyed, almost angry...

It was way past nap time and little #tumtum still jumping on my lap and resisting sleep... Some days this is just the ultimate drama feeling on my stay at home mama life! Nap time is the time when I work uninterrupted, or stretch for 20 min yoga, or... have a nap myself, or manage a 15min meditation or... Have a cup of coffee by myself... 

No, no, no! I need it! It's not negotiable! It's sacred Nap time!!!

- love, let's go to sleep, it's nap time, please. 

- mama... It's ok... Come here, look outside (goes to the window) look outside, it's morning, sun woke up so early (always says this!), it's not dark! It's morning. Let's play.

- no, I am not going to play. Come, lye down and close your eyes! I am getting upset now!

- mama - smoothest voice ever - I want to give you "beijinho"; come and play with me, you will feel better.

- no, no (I don't want to feel better! Mama going tantrum...) we go to sleep NOW.

- why not? Mama why not? we play, let's be friends. You want to go outside? (holds my face between his hands and looks straight into my eyes, his kinda grey/ kinda green/ kinda hazel brown eyes... Hypnotic) we can go outside to feel better. Come.

I did. He was right. Felt better.

Oooooh #tumtumMaster

#thingsMySonSays

#tumtumLife

#ommmmmmamma

Breathe

You cannot breathe deeply and worry at the same time. Breathe. Let the worry go. Breathe. Allow the love and intuition in.

~ Sonia Choquette

#ommmmmmamma

My Son needs me

My son needs me.

My son is now three years old and fills my days with the joys and angers of his "tantrumHood". It is not always easy. But we are learning to be better.

My son needs me. To stay sane, loving, and not go tantrum myself...

Every time I cry, and it's ok for mothers to cry, I see him stoping his process (a healing one most probably) and getting so worried (and afraid?) that he immediately puts his feelings second and tries to soothe me "It's ok mama... Mama, breath out..."

This is both beautiful and heartbreaking.

Yes #ommmmmmamma,

You will despair sometimes.

You will want to avoid, run from, ignore the "present moment". Why would you want to dive in and "be present"? When it is so unpleasant? 

Last month was full of teachings and I learned by experience that the only way is not to judge it. Not for a minute worry about others involved, focus on nothing but your child, yourself, and this challenge you are facing, nothing but this. Set your priorities straight, do not postpone mindful breathe and deep connection. Be here and now during a tantrum, accepting what it's made of, it's sounds and movements. Accept the thoughts that come to your mind, you feel you have failed, feel helpless, wrong, unworthy...? Do not judge these feelings... Let them sink in, so you can release them, transform them.

Let it be light again by surrender to how... Heavy it feels right now...

It's ok, even a ommmmmmamma feels lost sometimes...